Misreply.org

Let’s be honest, there’s really not much to do at 3am when you’re bored but watch infomercials, porn, or random things on your computer. Having watched that week’s new episode of Top Gear, I decided that instead of boring infomercials, I’d rather watch more Top Gear, and revisited one of my favorite segments of all time.

Season 10, Episode 01 of Top Gear closed with one of the greatest films of all time: one about trying to find the greatest driving road….in the world. A road that would challenge both car and driver. A mostly empty road, with scenic views, tight turns, fast straights, tunnels….the works. They basically settled on the fact that this great driving road would be found somewhere in Europe, close to the Alps. They took three of the greatest sports cars money could buy (except for James May, who brought a race car with no air conditioning, no windows, almost solid suspension…you get the idea): A Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, a Porsche GT3 RS, and an Aston Martin race spec Vantage.

Basically, they did what I really really really really want to do, and if I ever win the lottery, I’m buying myself a sporty car, and flying to Europe.

Anyway, onto the actual interesting bits: the roads themselves, which, with Top Gear’s excellent cinematography, looked even more fantastic than usual. The first road, the benchmark, was the Col de Turini, in France. Usually a stage for the World Rally Championship, it is one of only a few things the French have going for them (I kid, I kid….ok maybe I don’t).

The second road that they highlighted was the San Bernadino Pass: a mountain road in the Swiss Alps between Hinterrhein and Misox. This scenic stretch of road features smooth roads, sweeping turns, and a long tunnel where the sounds of the car could really come alive.

The highlight of the trip; the best driving road in the world was the road from Davos to Stelvio via Bormio. This road is as scenic as it is challenging. It had everything they could dream of: quick turns, sweeping curves, smooth roads, breathtaking views, fast bits, tight bits. This is a road that could make you actually become one with your car. Sure, you could drive it in a Volvo as a side road, but pushing a car to the limit on this road would be the ultimate rush. After this road, driving to work would seem even more bland than it does now, if that is even possible…unless you live in Davos and work in Stelvio…in which case, hire me. To put the cherry on top, the Stelvio Pass at the end of this road was another piece of driving heaven. Being one of the highest paved roads in the Swiss Alps, it is also one of the most challenging roads to drive on. It has hairpin turns throughout the entire pass, limited visibility, and nothing to stop you from falling down the mountain if you get too brave and too stupid.

Seriously, go watch that episode if you enjoy driving even a little bit, and marvel at the greatness that is….the best driving road in the world.

I think I’ll play the lottery tomorrow.

cars

Back in November of 2008, I was looking to buy a new car due to the unfortunate fate of my previous Civic. I wanted something somewhat fun…not boring. The Civic was certainly a great car; it would never have any mechanical issues, and would last forever, but I thought it was time for something a little better…something more fitting with my infantile mindset.

After some research, I narrowed my list to three sub-$25000 cars, and did some test drives.

Ok, let’s just preface this by saying that my test drives were of varying length, weather condition, time of day, and passenger. I have had the most amount of time driving the Speed3 mostly because Ry has one, and I “borrow” it fairly often. When I test drove the SI, the dude was a bit of a douchebag, and we only went about a mile or two in it due to it being a busy-ish Saturday morning. That does not excuse that dealership’s conduct toward a potential buyer. I drove the GTi the night before, and drove it in the rain when it was dark outside. Took it through some back roads, some highway..dude was pretty cool about letting me get on it.

Anyway, onto my reviews.

2008 Mazda MazdaSpeed3
Pros: It’s a fast car. No matter what gear you are in, it just wants to go. Some noticeable turbo lag, but once it hits about 3000-3500 it goes “hello!”. Braking is awesome, it stops on a dime pretty much. Handling is great…there is very little body roll, but then again, with it not being my car I haven’t really pushed it very hard. Interior is well made, the controls are within easy reach, it’s fairly comfortable, and has a decent amount of room in the back. The glovebox is xbox huge for storing stuff. It’s a four door, so the backseat passengers are happy. It looks good…I mean…really good; from almost any angle.
Cons: It has a hard ride. The suspension is stiff and the tires are low profile, so you feel everything. They overdid the red in the interior. Everything is red, from the dash, to the climate controls, to the radio. Don’t get me wrong, I like red as much as the next guy, but goddamn. The speedo is a bit weird as well (not a big thing, just nitpicking), as the separation takes some getting used to… the 60mph mark is where I’d think 35 is in any other car. Visibility isn’t that great with the way the hatch is, there are a few blind spots, but not too bad. It has a few weird rattles, especially in the hatch and the seats. The hatch cover moves around, and the seats squeak a bit as you move around in them. The backseat isn’t very comfortable, but I wouldn’t be spending much time there.
Other comments:You also can’t really feel speed in the car. Cruising at 90mph, it feels like you’re standing still, which is both good and bad. The steering is very touchy. The slightest movement makes the car change direction…I like feel in my steering, but without having to worry about moving the wheel too much.

2008 Volkswagen GTi
Pros: This is a fun car. Less turbo lag than the Speed3. The DSG transmission is like having god himself shift for you…it’s quite an amazing experience. It’s fun around corners (it was rainy so I took it easy), with very good braking and handling (Although people say it’s worse than the speed3..I wasnt really able to notice the difference due to lack of being able to push both cars hard). The 2 door looks pretty awesome, but not like some of the classic GTIs (not that I care). The one I looked at had a moonroof, premium sound, 6 cd changer with mp3 and sat radio, ipod connector..the works. Hatch is roomy, and contoured well. The interior is also very well put together, no rattles, everything is within easy reach and easy to see. The coloring of the interior is beautiful…when it’s dark and the dash lights up, it just looks amazing. The ride is very comfortable, virtually no road noise, and the bumps are nicely handled by the suspension. Under the hood it is very well designed and clean. Great fuel economy also (yea…dont care). 0% financing for 60 months.
Cons: Not quite as fast as the speed3. As tested, it came out to be a bit more expensive than the speed3 and the SI. The backseat isn’t quite as roomy as either the SI or the 3, but it is also the only 2 door that I tested. With it being a two door as well, passengers might not be all that satisfied. Volkswagen has some weird seat adjustments as well. In most cars, your seat angle is either electrically chosen, or you pull a lever and move the seat backing forward or back; in the GTi, there is a knob. It takes some getting used to. Parts for VWs…Im just kind of expecting them to be more expensive.

2009 Honda Civic SI
Pros: It revs to 8000 rpms and loves being in the high revs. It does about 30mpg with an engine that makes 200HP. The ride is very comfortable for both front and backseat passengers. The clutch and trans are one of the best 6 speed manuals I have ever driven…it is very very smooth. Trunk is roomy…the exterior looks pretty damned good, while still not drawing much attention to itself. It’s a Honda…so it will pretty much never break. Cheapest of the bunch.
Cons: it makes no power down low. It does nothing until you hit 6000 rpms. The interior is ugly…I have no idea who decided that having a dash that is long enough to use as a dinner table was a good idea. That same person probably also thought that having your tach by itself, and then having a digital speedo were a good idea. Guess what…it’s not. The car just wasn’t very fun to drive…unless you’re just revving the shit out of the engine, no instant power if you want to just GO. With the way the gearing is, you’re doing over 3000 rpms just going 60mph on the highway…wtf?!

So…those were my initial impressions of the cars I test drove last year. Did any of them change since then? Did my car of choice turn out to be great or a mistake? Tune in next time.

cars cars, gti, mazda, test drive

To preface this post, I wish to make it clear that I never really had much faith in people. While most people argue whether or not people are inherently good or evil, I simply theorize the fact that people are inherently stupid.

This particular gentleman adds further proof to my theory. I was on my way to a hockey game, and was to pick up a teammate along the way. I was driving on 33rd Street on Drexel’s campus and was stopped at the stop sign at 33rd and Race. As I am at this stop sign, this particular gentleman decides to back up into 33rd Street from Race. He also made it a point to not notice me standing there. He also made it a point to ignore my honking and flashing. I’m sure you can guess what happened next….he backed up right into me. Good going dude!

Total damage to my car: $2026
My rental: Initially, I was given a Kia, which is about as uncool as you can get. The Kia then got a flat tire, and they weren’t able to fix it, so they gave me a replacement Dodge Charger. It is a V6 Charger, not the Hemi powered V8. It’s slow, and it handles like a brick with wheels. It also drinks gas like a Russian drinks vodka.

TLDR: people suck.

General Stupidity, cars

This Saturday, Northeast Lincoln Mercury in Northeast Philadelphia, will host the first Support the Troops Cruise Night of 2007. Ray Jermyn Sr. of NELM will once again show his strong support of our Military Personnel overseas with one of the best Cruise Night/Car Shows of the year.

This Saturday, various sponsors have come on board to make this cruise the best ever.

Official Cruise Flyer

Ray’s Geocities site

I will be there with my ‘Stang, as well as playing photographer. Pictures from previous cruise nights can be found here and here.

cars

Wow, has it really been that long since part 2 was posted?

I left that day knowing that I finally did the one thing that my mom did not want me to do. My dad was all about it; he wanted to drive it. He had always hated the fox body mustangs as they were “too boxy” looking for him. The 95 had the smooth bubble look. It was curvaceous and sleek.

“So when can I pick her up?”, I asked.
“I’ll call you when I get the title, since I’m still paying it off”, she responded.

I had a more important question on my mind, however: “How the fuck am I going to afford this car?” At that time I had no money. I spent my co-op money on stupid bullshit like DJ equipment, camera equipment, vacations, and “her”. The answer I had prepared for myself was “who cares, you have a car”. I did the one thing that any responsible young adult would do: ask the parents.

The way I saw it, I had two choices. One choice was to get a personal loan from the bank, at an insanely high interest rate. Choice two was to secure a no interest “hey mom I bought a car” loan. It turned out to be easier than expected. I was working for ___ now, so I was bringing in money, and didn’t really have any significant balances on my credit cards. Dad had already given me his answer: “ask mom”….goddamn he is whipped. So I did: “I’ll give you $1000 a month, and pay it back quickly.” “Ok…if you really want to do this…” “Of course I do!”. Mothers tend not to understand the young male’s obsession with gadgets and cars, and I highly doubt they ever will. They watch soap operas, reality shows and Barefoot Contessa; I watch Top Gear and movies where shit blows up…it’s just the way the world works.

The next week was filled with anxiety. I knew I had a car, but I knew I wouldn’t feel entirely satisfied until I had the title and keys in hand. I didn’t tell modo that I had bought it right away, mostly because I knew he wanted to be the first to know. I’m just a dick like that…he’d be pissed off that he had no input in the decision. Whether or not he did, I have no idea, nor did I care. I just wanted this chick to call me back so I could pick up my car.

I knew she wouldn’t call during the weekend, so I expected something the following week. Monday rolls around, then Tuesday…and into Wednesday with no word. What…the…fuck. Did she change her mind, or did she forget….what? Finally, on Thursday I got a call. “Hey, you want to do the exchange next week? I called the place and they are sending the title down. It should arrive early next week, but just in case, you want to do it next Saturday morning?” “Sure…lemme know when and where, and I’m there.”

We had arranged to meet the next Saturday in the same spot at 1pm. The place that was holding her title was a couple of blocks away, so we both figured it would be easier to meet in a place we both knew how to get to. I called Baz and asked him if he was ok to drive up with me, so that he could drive my daily driver back and I’d drive the mustang back. He agreed, as I knew he would, and the next week of waiting commenced.

I stood outside of JC Penny at noon, since the food court was nearby. I grabbed some food and waited for her to show up. 1pm rolled around and instead of her arrival, I felt my cell phone ring.

“Hey, it’s me….umm….”
Oh christ…an “umm”, this can’t be good.
“Umm…what?”
“Listen, I know we arranged to meet now, but something happened…and I completely understand if you don’t want the car anymore.”
What the fuck, did she blow it up….dump paint thinner all over it?
“What happened?”
“Well V had the car at his lot, and he was cleaning it…but some old guy driving around didn’t make the corner and hit it at like ten miles per hour!”
She seemed quite genuinely apologetic…almost nervous, as if I was to give her 20 lashes in a public square for some great injustice…which I almost considered doing, had she not been hot. (Amazing how much shit women get away with based on appearance.)
“How bad?”
“Well, I’m on my way there, you’ll see it pretty soon.”
“Well thanks for the heads-up, see you when you get here.”

I wish I had a video camera to capture that conversation, because I’m pretty sure my expression went from euphoria, to anger, then to sadness all during that thirty second conversation, before settling upon its normal apathetic look.

Ten miles per hour…yea right. I looked at the car, and Baz and I both agreed that it looked like it had been crashed into a pole, not some old guy and at more than ten miles per hour. On the bright side, cause of the accident aside, the damage wasn’t all that bad. It was going to need a new bumper and fog lights, but that was about all I could see.

“I still want the car, but we have to work on price…I’m going to have to replace about $400 worth of stuff.”
She was a bit taken back by that number. I think that she was just ignorant about the cost of labor and parts for cars. I’m sure that in her mind, she was thinking “It’s just some plastic…what the fuck!”. “Are you sure…we can’t negotiate that a bit?”, she asked. I told her that we had already agreed on a price for the car as it sat when I saw it, and damage had to be taken into account, as well as the costs to get it back into that condition.
“Well, alright”, she said in a solemn voice, knowing that she needed to sell the car and that she had a buyer with cash in hand.

We went into the loan office, I gave her the money and she settled the lien on the car. She got the title, signed it, and gave it to me. “Well…she’s all yours, lemme just get the old license plate”.

Fuck…I had forgotten to bring a spare license plate so I could drive the car back to Philly. “Mind if I give that to you tomorrow, I kinda….umm….forgot a spare plate?” Thankfully, she agreed.

I got into the car…it felt a bit weird; so different from the Mazda. I started her up and put it into first. I was somewhere between giggling like a schoolgirl and nervousness. I threw her into first and away we go.

…Or did we? A giant clout of smoke came out from under the car. Christ, it’s been years since I drove a stickshift. There was nothing wrong with the car…that was just clutch smoke. I looked at the shifter….figures, I put it into third in my rush of emotion. I’m sure they laughed…I didn’t care. I threw it into first (for real this time) and away we go.

The drive back to Philly was fun. By the time we got to the Expressway I had gotten my shifting and clutch foot back. I was cruising. I needed gas, though…minor details as I needed to get the car registered and get a license plate.

…and that is a story in itself: to be continued.

cars

Modo wanted me to get a car almost as much as I did. Hell, if it wasn’t for him in the first place, I probably would not be sitting here about to buy a car. He owns a black 93 GT; complete with a supercharger, aftermarket heads, aftermarket intake among many other upgrades. The moment I met him, back in my first year of UPenn, the car was quick. It wasn’t fast…but it was quick. More importantly, it was fun to drive (of if you were me, to ride in). Naturally, being a Penn student at the time, and Modo being a Drexel grad, I began to furiously bust his chops about that fact. Typical Ivy League smug it was, but how often do you get to talk to someone who went to school right across the street from your school? On campus, the answer would be: fairly often, but this was outside the realm of school. Hell, he had graduated before I even started, but that point was irrelevant to me at the time. (note: I had known him for a bit at this point…even I’m not quite as bad as to “insult” someone without having any idea of who they were or how receptive they were to my type of humor) What it comes down to is: if I think you’re alright, then my acceptance of you is exemplified in my busting your balls. It’s a sign that I’m comfortable enough with you to know that you won’t get personally insulted, and therefore forge a stronger bond. Obviously, it’s not something I do constantly with my friends, but ball busting is done both ways rather freely. Ironically, I went to Drexel the next year, and received (and still do) my fair share of ball busting about it.

I was still sitting in the car; waiting. Modo had just called and asked me what I was up to. “I’m waiting for this chick to show up with the car”, I said. “What car…and is she hot?”, he responded. I had no idea if this woman was hot or not, I didn’t know anything about her. “This mustang I’m looking at….and I don’t know if she’s hot or not, I’ve never met her before”. His response was to be expected: “Yo dude, what the fuck, I thought you were going to take me along to look at cars.” Yea, I might have said that, and he DID go with me to look at the previous selections. But for some reason, he wasn’t along for the ride this time. I had found this car myself; he had no idea which car it even was, and for some reason, that felt kind of rewarding. I have no idea why he wanted me to get a car almost as much as I did, but he did. I could only assume that he wanted to be able to beat the piss out of a car that is not his own. Not like that was likely, but let him think. It’s not like I ever got the chance to drive his car hard or anything like that. “Yea, I know…but you were at Jen’s and I didn’t want to bother you to go look at another car”, I responded. I think that was good enough for him. “Nah man, I would have gone with you, I wanna see this shit.” Oh well, tough luck.

I thought I heard something. Was that the rumble of a mustang exhaust? Nope…just a Ford pickup truck driving by. Damn… it’s 8:10, where is this chick? Am I waiting in front of the right store…did she say 8:00…was she even planning on coming? A lot of questions float through your head when you’re an impatient sonofa bitch like me. Funny thing is, looking at it now…I wonder what I was so worried about. It was only 10 minutes, not like I can expect precise timing from everyone, especially taking into account the fact that people work, have lives, have families…have traffic…

We moved anyway. I drove around the parking lot for a bit, hoping to catch a glimpse of red somewhere in this lot. I didn’t see it. 8:20 – “what the hell”. My dad is as impatient as I am, it seems.

“There she is…I think”, I said as I saw a red mustang pull into the parking lot and proceed to the empty lot behind Sears. It was the only red mustang there, and it looked like it was waiting for someone. I put my car in gear and go to meet the mustang. It had to be her…it was the only mustang in the lot. Hell, it was the only red car in the lot. Red…mustang….alone….had to be. And it was.

She got out of the car, and the three of us just looked at each other. Damn…she was pretty hot. She got out of the car, and that was about as good as that part was going to get, as she was followed by her daughter and what I assumed to be her boyfriend. She was a mix of white and Hispanic, petite but with a well proportioned body. Her face was cute, with big brown eyes and shoulder length hair. Her accompanying gentleman (and I use this term lightly) looked like he could play backup for the 76ers. He was a monster compared to her. She was about five foot two, and he was about a foot and a half taller. I couldn’t really see too much detail; he was black, was wearing black clothes, a black cap and it was dark outside. I figured his looks to be irrelevant. Her daughter, who was also his, was a mix of the two, and looked like she was about seven or so.

“Hey, I’m Luke, we spoke earlier”, I introduced myself. She gave me her name, and turned around to introduce Victor, her escort. She said they used to date, and had her daughter, but still hung around, and that she brought him because she didn’t want to meet some random guy alone. It made sense, although it shocked me a bit to hear how much information she was freely divulging. Not that it wasn’t interesting, but I don’t know of many people who would be so open. As she turned around to grab her daughter, I saw the back of her “one size too small on purpose” shirt come up and reveal a tattoo in the small of her back. The tattoo read “Victor”, and had little hearts around it. How cute…get a tattoo of the guy’s name that you are no longer “with”. I don’t judge, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t snicker about it when I got home.

“So, tell me a bit more about the car”, I said after we talked about random bullshit for a half hour. I could see that both my dad and Baz were getting a bit impatient standing there, although I couldn’t help but notice both of them checking this girl out. She told me that she bought the car from a dealer, and that it was all original. I liked that. It’s hard to find a 5.0 mustang that hasn’t already been fucked with. As I talked to her about the history of the car, and how she babied it and took care of it, and all that other happy horseshit, Baz and my dad were looking over the car. Baz checked the body to make sure it was straight, checked the torque boxes, and both looked over the body to see if they could notice any scratches or dents. I didn’t expect the car to be perfect, especially for the advertised price. I was surprised how good it actually looked. It had a few scratches, but nothing that would be outside normal driving wear. Minor dents that were attributed to road debris or hail were present, but again, still beyond acceptable.

“Can I take it for a spin around the lot?”, I asked. “Sure, go ahead…Victor will go with you.” At least she was smart; while she had divulged a lot of random information about herself, but she wasn’t about to trust someone with her car. We all (me, Baz, my dad and Victor) squeezed into the car. I told Baz that he should probably be the one to drive it, since he has a lot more experience in “feeling” certain things out in cars. He had years of experience, he had built cars, he had stripped them down and put them back together; he knew what he was looking for. Car ran good. Save for a little bit of play in the harmonic balancer, the car ran better than I expected.

“Alright, I’ll take it.”

to be continued…

cars

Sitting there with my pops and Baz, I glance up and see the sun setting behind the JC Penny store at the Deptford Mall. Calm on the outside, maintaining my cool, my mind is racing with ideas and possibilities of what I would do with the car.

This was try number five. I had made journeys to Delaware, New York, and other places in New Jersey in hopes of finding THE car. I had seen GTs, LX convertibles…all fox bodies so far. This one was different; it was an SN95 — a term whose definition I did not know until after I bought my car, but one that referred to Mustangs made between 1994 and 1999. None of the ones I had seen so far were right for me. They were either beat up, too expensive, or the owner was a dick. This felt different. Not only was the owner a chick, but the car was completely stock. Additionally, for the first time…the car was local too.

I always knew I wanted a Mustang. Ok, maybe I’m lying…initially I wanted a Supra, because I thought they looked cool. I then wanted a Trans-Am ever since I saw an episode of Knight Rider. I watched too much TV when I was young. After I grew up and actually got my driver’s license, I began to consider my car choice a bit more seriously. I knew I had to have a V8 at some point in my life, I just did not know which one. There was something about the throaty tone that the V8 emitted, something raw and powerful…yet pleasant.

I was driving my parents home from Doylestown, where they were visiting some friends, and obviously I had to DD. There is a red light on Street Road at the Bensalem intersection where I see a Camaro and a Mustang lined up next to each other. They rev at each other playfully before they started heating up their tires right there and then. What were they thinking? They were just doing a burnout on a major road at 10:00 at night with cars behind them. I must have been tired, because right after that thought went through my head it clicked that they were just going to have a race right then and there. The light turned green and they both hit the gas as hard as they could. The Camaro went sideways, the Mustang got its front wheels a few inches in the air..and before I knew it, they were gone.

I did not remember that race until I saw this for-sale ad on gdr: http://forums.godragracing.com/viewtopic.php?t=26817
I was looking for a car to buy at the time, and this was candidate number five. (note: the pictures may no longer work, and I don’t think I saved them, but I will look)

I looked at my cell phone and saw that it was nearing 8:00pm. I looked at my dad and Baz with a “she’ll be here soon” look on my face. Cool and collected…yep that was me.

to be continued…

cars

I finally got my car back, and damn does she look good. A nice coat of performance red paint that my buddy Baz has lovingly nicknamed “blood orange”. The car, however, was still in pieces.

Three months ago I decided to get the entire car painted. I had bought a new hood; a 2.5 inch Cobra R cowl hood. I bought a new fender to replace the one that was damaged by the original owner the day I bought the car (although that is a post for another day…maybe if I am bored at work tomorrow, I will type it up). I wanted her to look pristine, as if she had just left the showroom floor, but better. Paint is not cheap, neither is the body work and prep work required before one can even paint the damned thing. Fortunately for me, my garage is next door to another buddy that does paint work. We worked out a deal…he hooked me up with a hell of a deal on a paint job, contingent on me buying the paint, taking her apart, and being patient with the work.

So, I finally got my car back…and damn does she look good. I still had to put her back together. I wanted to be meticulous…careful in putting her back together. There was no way in hell I wanted to scratch the new coat of paint. A few hours later, with the hood on, the fender cut in, and the interior back together… I decided to call it a day.

How is any of that relevant? Fuck if I know, I just wanted to brag about having my car back.

The point is that later that day, I get a call from my roommate Doomsday asking me to help him put his car back together. Ironically, his car is also a mustang; a beautiful black widow fox body that at this point had no motor or trans.

Doomsday got his name from his ability to exaggerate any situation into the equivalent of the end of the world. It also helps that his first name begins with a ‘D’. I have never met anyone who could make such a big deal out of the smallest situation as Doomsday could. If a rock kicked up and hit the windshield of his daily driver Honda, Doomsday would pull over to the side of the road, grab his head and bitch/moan/complain that the car is ruined. Last week, at around 3am on the night before trash day, Doomsday comes out of his room as I’m playing some Xbox and asks if I can hear what is going on outside. Now…my room is the furthest from the street, and I’m playing video games, so obviously I can hear everything going on outside. I pause the game, and go downstairs to see what is going on. Outside, about 4 houses to the left of ours, is a small fire. Someone must have left flammable material in their trash, and it had spontaneously combusted (either that or some neighborhood kids decided to go fire crazy). The fire is contained to a bucket, with flames reaching 3 feet above the 2 foot tall bucket. There is a jeep parked right next to this bucket, which is feeling the wrath of the heat. Actually, a square foot patch of paint on the front bumper boiled a bit. Minutes later, with the fire department on site with a small fire extinguisher, the fire is out and everybody vacates the street. The following day at work, Doomsday is retelling this story. His version was a little more extreme. According to him, the flames were 20 feet in the air, and the jeep was burning to the ground. See what I mean?

His car was being a pain in the ass, as always. The first time we tried to put the trans in (this was in June or so), it took us a few hours because it is a dual clutch disk setup with a crazy pilot bearing. We were using a regular floor jack, and tried to work under a car that was barely a foot off the ground. Eventually, after painstakingly aligning the splines and with sheer force and determination; we got the damned thing in the car. A few days later, the motor blew.

This time around, we not only had to put a trans in, but the freshly rebuilt motor as well. To me, it would have made sense to attach the trans to the motor while it is outside the car, and just dropped everything in on an angle. No…Doomsday did not want to remove his hood…because that 10 minutes and 4 bolts would have been too much, and made too much sense. Instead, we drop the motor in the car; Dooms working the engine crane, and I was guiding the motor. We do not bolt down the engine mounts because Dooms wanted to attach the trans first so that everything is aligned. Makes sense, I guess.

Did I mention how much I hate working on his car? If not…allow me to repeat it: I…hate….working….on…..Doomsay’s ….. car. Its like crouching Mustang, hidden HAHA FUCK YOU! Seriously, everything that can possibly go wrong while working on a car…goes wrong while working on that car. After 4 hours, and still not being finished, both of us looked like we went to the Bronx and insulted the wrong guy. Cuts, bruises, aches, mental anguish…you name it, we had it. That car is dangerous. It looks for ways to hurt you, whether it be sharp edges, things falling, things leaking, jacks rolling, trans crushing your fingers or just the pain of the subzero concrete garage floor in the middle of December. On the bright side, at least the scratches I have along my arms from the sharp edges of the car form a pattern that I can attribute to rough sex. Trust me, I’d rather say I was with a kinky scratcher than say that I got all scratched up working on someone’s car. Its embarrassing, but that car has moods…its on permanent PMS; a vindictive little bitch out to squeeze the life out of you.

The motor is in the car, still not bolted down, but at least it is inside. The trans still is not in after 3 hours of trying every trick in the book. Let him fuck with it for now…I have my own car to finish. At least my car doesn’t hate me.

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