This page is a collection of quotes I have come across in either conversation or through various online mediums.
Our friend Spaz had just been ordained as a Deacon.
Me: At least he will be the best wing-man ever, now.
Ewald: Yea, either that or the biggest cock-block.
Luke: Dude, having a butler would be cool…
Tim: Yea, if I had a butler, I’d name him “Jeeves”,
Luke: Dude…what the fuck, you can’t name your butler.
Tim: Oh yea…I guess he would already have a name, huh.
By: Orion:2 months from today and i am (throwing my life) away getting hitched.
By: tripred@work: one day you are king, the apartment is in your name, the living room is for playing video games, and the only food is ramen and condiments.next thing you know you are at your dinner table in your house surrounded by 5 women, wearing an apron and serving brazed leg of lamb.
they all comment to the wife how nice HER house is. you cannot fuck any of them.
(Talking about Spring Break)
Laura: I had sex on the beach.
Tim: Does Britain even have beaches?
Me: Tim, Britain’s a fucking island…of course it has beaches.
(Ahh the stupidity of my friends amazes even me)
me (11:51:43 PM): yea, but you study your ass off, and do the homeworks…I dont
Kathy (11:51:45 PM): I am not good with books
Kathy (11:51:52 PM): you do the homework
me (11:52:00 PM): yea…and look what happened…we had a blizzard
Kathy (11:52:19 PM): LOL
(Drivin through Philly listenin to the radio)
Me: “Yo Tim, 20 points if you guess this band…
Tim: I donno, gimme a hint
Me: Think BLANK box and BLANK shed.”
Tim: “Fruitcake”
Me: “A fruitcake box?!”
Tim: “woops”
(The band was Tool)
(Sittin in Natalia’s Room)
Natalia: Look at him (pointing to stuffed dog)…He’s sooo cute!
(Tim picks up the stuffed dog)
Tim: Moooo!
Me: Tim, thats a dog, not a cow.
Tim: Oh yea…
Is it me…or does Tim just say a lot of stupid shit?
(Just after crossing the border into Canada)
Tim: Holy shit….we’re in Canadia already?
Me: Tim…its Canada.
Tim: I thought it was Canadia…cuz you know, they speak Canadian.
Me: No Tim, they speak English.
By CSParsons: So I’m watching the news and they’re doing a little spot on Elizabeth Smart. “The family has gotten her back a little older and a little heavier than when she was taken.” CNN just called the girl fat after having been kidnapped for 8 months. I dont know if I should laugh or cry.
